I still remember feeling “sorry” for Gwyneth Paltrow when she was unceremoniously dumped by Brad Pitt many, many moons ago, when she was thinking and hoping that he would indeed be the one.  A prominent perspective in the concept of time is that it is often telling, informing us of things that we could not see at that moment in time, which is why “hindsight” remains what it is!

It is with this perspective in mind that recent words from this individual seem to confirm whose feet are walking on more presently fertile pathways.

In the context of marriage, Gwyneth has said the following words…

The Iron Man 2 actress – who wed Coldplay frontman Chris Martin in 2003 – says they have to work at their relationship like everyone else but both respect the commitment they made to each other.

Gwyneth – who has two children, Apple, five, and four-year-old Moses, with the Fix You rocker – said: “It’s honesty and support and respect. I really have an incredible amount of respect for him as a man, as a human being and as an artist. We have our ups and downs like every couple, but I think you have to make that commitment to invest in a life together and then you don’t get that thing if you’re single and dating or whatever.” {Emphasis mine}

In a day and age where marriage, among other perspectives is a vehicle to be used until it hits its best-by-used date, where the solemn words “until-death-do-us-part,” are short-hand for a post-modern side-step, now interpreted to mean more like “until the death in the life of the marriage,” and then we go our separate ways.  God forbid that one would have to work hard at this.  I mean, name one other area in life where you have to work at things to make any mark on or make any impression in?!  Yes, my tongue has married my cheek [tongue-in-cheek]!

All such perspectives work out from a presupposition that is in contradistinction to a Christian worldview, which at its very heart is about a lost humanity whose worst “functional” enemy is the devil within, which means if we truly know our hearts, we can say, “we are the worst the sinner we know,” which not only graces us with the perspective and paradigm with which to view our spouse and marriage through, but encourages us to present this gracious reality to our failing partner, beset with similar frailties to sin as we are!  Those who truly know themselves, know why Jesus had to die, and why no relational fracture is beyond His ability!

Leading up to the time when I married my Queen, i am jonny king you will perceive, one book that I read on the subject of marriage was by Bill Hybels, and one point that I still remember today was his reflections on his own marriage, that it was not easy, which means they had to work at it!  He disarmed this possible future by affirming the plodding path was both possible and real!

Such words sound so foreign because we live in a world of the instantaneous.  Technology is helping to shape our cultural expectations in this regard, where instant gratification is viewed as an axiomatic need and right, reflective of the pursuit of human flourishing.  The human heart being what it is, is hooking into this reality as people live for the nano-second!

But is this really how it is in the actual living of our lives?

While there is much good that can be affirmed in our technological advancements, we still need to remember that good things do take time.  Marriage is a marathon of a life-time, and too many people live it, like it is a 10 second sprint, which means when it doesn’t meet their expectations, they call time-out, or quit the game all together, after all, this is not what is was meant to be.  People, the grass is never greener over the other side of the fence, it just takes time to for this to turn brown as well… Then what? Sadly, they don’t stay together to experience the changing of the seasons, which are part of the journey!

All of this to say, that I am thankful for the common grace in the Paltrow words that speak to a significant aspect of marriage, which is commitment.

Commitment is another way of saying “covenant,” and as this was God’s idea, He has the nerve to define this reality.  To define this concept, He has done so in a very personal and very real way.  Tim Keller has put it this way… when God loves, he does so covenantly… which is to say that when the God of all Creation loves out of an indefatigable commitment to those He has chosen to bestow His love on, as children, He does so with an iron-clad promise, which death cannot even kill [Rom. 8:38-39], which is made most of in our vision that is famed when we look to and through the Cross, and see the reality of covenanted love in action [John 15:12-17, esp., verse 13]!

In light of all this, the tragic betrayal of the covenant concept in modern marriage becomes all the more real, not only personally, but also because of the cosmic picture it can paint [Eph. 5:22-33]!  Not only do people circumvent the mature wine of love-interacted, between a man and a woman over time, they also

This is an area that you should never, never, ever, give up or give in!

God has and will give you the grace you need.  Seek Him today!

If you would like to read the rest of the article where this quote was sourced from… Go HERE… which, sadly, exacerbates the cultural dilemma, referring to Paltrow’s words as an admittance of marriage struggles.  Talk about missing the mark!

What say you?

For the Fame of His Name

Man of Spin